Posts Tagged "birthday"

Okay, 30. I’m ready for you.

Posted by on Feb 26, 2016 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

It’s 9 PM on a Monday night in early June. The baby’s in bed, and Brad’s home, so I take a walk down by the bridge that leads to the university. The weather is perfect: it’s a bit warm for this hour, but with a cool breeze. I bought a bottle of apple juice at the store, because why not? On top of it, my new favourite album–Endless Forms Most Beautiful by Nightwish–is blaring in my headphones. It’s a nice night, and one of the few chances I get for a few minutes to myself. After a half hour or so of walking to the bridge and taking the long way home, I stop by the park on our street and sit on a swing. It’s not the first time I’ve done this. I reflect on the past few years as my legs push the air forward and pump back, my body a pendulum in the night air. 30 was such a daunting number a few years ago. “Late twenties with nothing to show for it,” I would lament to myself in the years prior, a bottle of beer in my hand as I scrolled aimlessly through Tumblr. I had an unfinished degree that I should have completed several years before. I didn’t complete any of my creative projects. I was still working retail, which I’d wanted to get out of for a very long time. My twenties were an incredible decade in my life. I learned so much about myself. I learned that I operate best when under my own schedule; I learned ways to treat my growing anxiety. I accomplished things I never thought I would, such as returning to school and finishing my degree. I made the best friends I’ve ever had. I sang onstage. I acted. I had a baby. It wasn’t all positive. I remember as I was in the midst of my early twenties, my mom said to me “your twenties are really for figuring yourself out and making mistakes”. I definitely made a few. I lost friends and alienated people. I worked a job I hated because I thought I needed the money. I dropped out of university because I couldn’t handle the pressure.  I still don’t have my driver’s license. On this, the eve of my 30th birthday, I can look back at the missed opportunities of my twenties and feel at ease. Nobody gets every goal they want done at this point in their lives. In some ways, I’m not as far as I would have liked to be, but in others, I’m a lot farther. Let’s do this, 30. I’m...

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